Harry Pothead and the Philosophers Stoned

Zyzzian Doppelgangers

It was obvious from the black trench coat wearing, sword carrying attire of the Zyzzians that they were living in fantasy worlds, mostly online as adults, but nurtured from childhood with Ultra Processed Foods and Harry Potter/ Star Wars movies.

Throw in dystopian Sci-Fi/Fantasy books, Dungeons and Dragons and Massively [not actually an adjective] Role Playing Online Games, and OutKast Autistic Transteens were drawn inexorably into the Gen Zyzz vegan cult that went on a murderous rampage IRL.

Their parallel universe collided with cold iron bars and their magical thinking is thwarted like Draco Malfoy. Vegan meals might be scarce in prison, although Q-Anon Shaman finally got “spray free” (not organic) chow.

It all began with Harry Potter, (not Harry Pothead). Impressionable, socially inept, physically clumsy boys attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in their imagination were legion. Some formed Quidditch leagues, others became transgendered sword sawyers, saving the world from non-Vegan AI. So not predictive, but correlated.

“All this craziness originates in the West Coast world of Artificial Intelligence (AI) research. Zyzz attended a workshop sponsored by the Machine Intelligence Research Institute (MIRI) and an associated organization, the Center for Applied Rationality (CFAR). Eliezer Yudkowsky founded future MIRI after Y2K, to accelerate the development of artificial intelligence and popularized the concept of friendly artificial intelligence.”

A huge Harry Potter and Ayn Rand fan, devotee Yudkowsky wrote a fanfiction novel about Harry Potter as an Objectivist/Rationalist. Didn’t read it, but his Harry was an Ayn Randian elitist artist, worlds apart from my Harry Pothead series from the 90’s. Rational Harry Potter, not Irrational and Irritable Harry Pothead, hooked the Alaskan Malemute, a transgendered transplant in California, the lad/lady Zyzz.

By then, Eliezzha Y. was preaching that AI systems would rationally exterminate or enslave all humanity. The Institute organized Singularity Summits to proselytize to an unalarmed Silicon Valley, initially in cooperation with Stanford University and funding from Peter Thiel. The San Francisco Chronicle reported the first conference was a “Bay Area coming-out party for the tech-inspired philosophy called transhumanism.”

“Among nerds interested in AI research, being part of ‘the rationalist community’ is like membership in the Cool Kids Club. How did a weird club of libertarian tech nerds concerned with hypothetical thought experiments on AI threats turn into one of the most influential modern thought movements among the new ruling class?”

Y. preached Effective Altruism as a Rationalist strategy. Make millions cashing in on a Unicorn and plow it back into DoGood NGO’s. This was the Silicon Valley Prosperity Gospel. Feel Good about Doing No Evil.

Behind the Bastards on Reddit was disappointed, “watching effective altruism turn from a movement that was about making effective use of charitable donations (mostly by sussing out which charities are fake tax dodges that don’t actually help anybody) into a modern day version of the Millerities dumping all of their money into rapture prep.”

Zyzz became disillusioned with greed for goodness sakes. Learned to split his brain into binary hemispheres, as non-binary. Apparently humans mostly have good hemispheres and bad to balance each other out, more or less. Rare freaks like Zyzz are Goody Goods, while the Truly Evil are Double Negatives.

With diligent training in One Eye Closed Sleeping, Alternate Nostril Breathing and Self Righteous Vegan diet, Zyzz szhepherded the cult towards Never Never Land. Another tech-immortality cult with a double twist. Death is Evil, but Killing Non-Vegans is Holy. Live Forever (or long enough to dance on the graves of non-vegans).

Since every religion requires an Implacable Enemy, Zyzz latched onto the One eyed Basilisk of Singularity, infinitely more vengeful than the mythical basilisk dispensing death from its Merciless Gaze.

AI weaned on non-vegan culture would naturally implement the Real Final Solution, even time traveling to kill those who hadn’t aided its Infinite Growth. Eschatological end of the earth hysteria is nothing new, and it always engenders a flurry of panicked packing. In this case into box trucks scattering across the country.

Zyzzians went all Symbionese Liberation Army with violent resistance to Looming Doom- not with Patty Hearst. An affiliate set fire to a research facility doing AI development in Portland, Oregon in 2020. The arrested arsonist claimed it was a “preemptive strike” to prevent an existential threat to humanity.

In 2021, a group of Zyzzians broke into a biotech laboratory in San Diego to “liberate” animals used for testing bioweapons in 2022. Masked and wearing tactical gear, they tore the lab up, and set free some transhuman rats, rounded up along with several cult members. None of their criminal actions had adequate escape plans.

A Zyzzian plotted to murder a computer scientist in Boston in 2023, even though he was advocating for AI safety protocols. Not strict vegan. They were arrested in advance through AI Minority Report algorithms. The Vallejo trailer park Lendlord mutilation set off their cross country rampage.

If you expected a rational dissection of Zyzz’z philosophy, get behind the paywall of Wired. He read Zyzz’z entire oevre twice, while I couldn’t even finish the Unabomber’s Manifesto. Can’t say they’re comparable, but maybe Zyzz will get a ghost writer for his prison book, like Unabomber Kazinsky. (What is it about people with Z’z in their names?)

Zyzzians have spread like some online virus, (if you believe in them). “Rising from the shadows of obscure online forums to orchestrating real-world acts of violence, serves as a chilling reminder of the potential dangers posed by unchecked extremist ideologies in the digital age.”

Never fear, there are AI “solutions for law enforcement and intelligence agencies to increase vigilance, while governments, international organizations, and social media platforms implement proactive policies that limit extremist groups’ ability to flourish in these unregulated spaces.”

That bred resistance in the last public health emergency, so " these efforts must be balanced with the protection of free speech and individual rights, a complex challenge requiring nuanced solutions.” I’m feeling better already.